Interesting

Well, this is an interesting read. The Forbes article details how hard it is to avoid making the rich richer by detailing the ways your everyday spending lines the pockets of billionaires. The article highlights an app that helps you make different decisions, if you choose. (The most interesting part of the article, to me, was the slideshow showing how pretty much all of your purchases benefit a billionaire somehow.)

I've been frustrated in the past, especially when reading books like Salt, Sugar, Fat to realize how closely linked almost all the big brands are and yet how opaque it is to the consumer. The Buycott app (which I absolutely just downloaded) makes that a lot more transparent.

Should we care about things like whether our cereal company spent money to oppose labeling of GMO foods or that a CEO makes 11 times the average salary of someone employed in her company? I don't know. I go back and forth on the issue myself a lot of the time. I'm not going to live an ascetic life just to avoid the possibility of someone being exploited somewhere - it's not very practical. I can make small changes, like buying secondhand whenever possible and doing without a lot of "necessities". But what I really like about the app is that it gives you the information to make a choice when you do make a purchase, which I feel like has really been missing for the layperson.

How do you feel about your money going to make rich people richer?

The Color of Money

I'm catching up on all my magazine reading, and I came across this very interesting article from the March issue of Real Simple: How Color Affects Your Spending.

According to the article, different colors can get you to open your wallet through a combination of psychological associations and marketing. Black signals sophistication, blue connotes trust, green indicates environmentally friendly (even when the products really aren't), red can slow customers down, white suggests purity and yellow gets your appetite going. I know that purple tends to catch my eye (the article says this is because it makes me think of royalty, I think it's more because it's my favorite color).

Do any of these ring true for you? Any colors you have a hard time passing up - or bringing home?

Quality vs. Price

These two recent posts have me thinking: The bitterness of poor quality from The Frugal Girl and Goodwill, Badwill, Questionable-Will from The Non-Consumer Advocate.

For some reason, I have a very hard time remembering that I like high quality over low price. Because of this, I own a ton of cheap shirts from department store clearance racks that last one season, or maybe two, and then have to be replaced.

I'm starting to get better about this - last year Peanut and I replaced a lot of our cookware with restaurant supply store items instead of big box store brands, and we've been very happy about that. We're planning a small revamping of our living room/office set up that will require some new to us furniture and I've been struggling with how to achieve it. We are on a very tight budget, but it really needs to be done in order to babyproof the computer area. So I'm torn between going to Ikea, trying to find the same pieces I want from Ikea on Craigslist, or hoping that I stumble across something that fits the space at an estate sale. The first two options are likely to end in broken down furniture in a few years, and the last option is an exercise in frustration. Maybe there are options that we haven't really explored, though, like unfinished furniture stores, or building something ourselves...any suggestions? We need two desks, six shelves, and a cabinet that can be turned into a modified window seat. The cabinet/window seat is the big priority, since that will hide all the dangerous wires.

I'm still working out how we're going to manage all the updates I want to do - have you been in a similar situation? What did you decide?

Mother's Day

Mother's Day is coming up...and I have learned my lesson. No more ordering flowers from national companies! I went with a local florist in my mom's hometown, who I have used before. Finding this florist was just as easy as using 1800Flowers, but I'm betting that I will not have the problems I have had with the latter.

The Consumerist had a great post about this as well: We Don't Want to Hear About Your Disappointing Flowers This Mother's Day

April Recap/May Goals

April Goals
1. Finalize estate planning documents. Ahem. 

2. Take advantage of Baby M's naps. Better! Her naps were nice and consistent early in the month, devolving into completely unpredictable the last week or so (four month sleep regression!), but I managed to get a lot of little projects off my plate while she snoozed and also made time for things like reading for pleasure again. 

3. Sell some things on Craigslist/eBay. No go. I have weeded through a lot of things that I want to sell, but I spent a lot of those naptimes mending, writing descriptions, or taking photos. I want to do some batch selling here instead of doing it piecemeal, so that's what's taking so long. 

May Goals
1. Get the wills signed and notarized, FFS. I am so tired of this damn project I could scream, and I've got no one to blame but myself that it's not done. Right after we filled out all the forms, I panicked that we need to see a lawyer instead of using software. The reality is that our wills pretty much simply ratify what our state's laws already would decide, so it's a mere formality indicating our wishes as to Baby M's custody should something happen to both of us. So a home-done version is absolutely fine, and if there are any problems with it that would cause state law to override them, we'd have exactly the same outcome. So it's time to just get some signatures and file the pages and BE DONE WITH IT. 

2. Declutter. This is basically me just putting April's third goal back on the list, but I also have a lot of stuff that I want to take to Goodwill because I won't get anything for it if I try to sell it. Once again, using those naptimes!

3. Set up one playdate. Now that Peanut has the Jeep up and running, I have a car during the day again. And Baby M has been cleared to go visit very healthy friends and family. It's a big production to leave the house with her, and has to be carefully timed because eating is a problem and she'll only do it at home under familiar circumstances. But by golly I need to get out of the house, and setting up a playdate with another friend with a baby should help me get over the fear of going out with her. 
What are your goals for May?

April Spending Recap

Baby $78.44
Business $3.89
Car (Mazda) $138.81
Car (Jeep) $1,039.65
Cat $25.95
Cell Phones $111.46
Charity $25
Clothing $136.92
Dental $274.40
Electric $87.69
Entertainment $41.24
Food - Groceries $318.87
Food - Other $258.41
Gas $104.45
Gifts $19.03
House $1,366.54
Household $137.48
Hygiene $15.00
Internet $72.50
Medical $20
Student Loans $178.63
Transportation $50
Water & Trash $78.05
Yoga $40
Therapy $26

Total $4,648.41

Things of Note:
The weather (briefly) got nice enough for us to become a two-car family again, but getting the Jeep ready for the summer cost us quite a bit of money. Luckily, this was a one-time cost (new tires and wheels and some other things) and won't happen every spring. 

We both got our teeth cleaned and I'm getting more dental work done in May, but we now have an HSA set up so at least that money is being spent pre-tax. Our utility bills are creeping down now that the days are longer and the weather warmer, and I've been able to line-dry diapers a few times instead of running long dryer cycles. I plan to get a clothesline up in the backyard this month. 

Our food spending was higher than it has been in previous months, for no real reason that I can discern. I guess we just got a little lax about eating out!

And lastly, you'll notice a new category - therapy. Now that Baby M is home from the hospital, I am starting to face some of the trauma, grief, and stress that I've been holding onto for the past eight months following her birth and hospitalization. Longtime readers of this blog know that I am no stranger to therapy and find it enormously useful, and I expect that to be the case again this time around. Time and money are both a little more precious to me now than they were five years ago, so I will be going every other week, keeping the cost to around $50 per month. Money well spent!

Just Enough

I love this series from Parent Hacks: Manage Your Money Just Enough

Mainly what I love is the title. It's easy to get swept up in doing everything "right" - finding the perfect envelope system, tweaking investments to get top performance, developing systems, perfecting budgets.

The reality is that if financial freedom is a recipe, there are two ingredients: action and time. There's only so much you can do before you have to let time pass, and while that's happening, managing your money "just enough" is a great plan.

I believe it was in a book about Eastern medicine where I read about a concept called "80% is perfection". This means that in any holistic approach to your life - diet, exercise, etc. - there is no achieving 100%. It's just not possible on a human scale. But getting things right 80% of the time will get you to where you want to go, and is achievable.

Is it a bit of a cop-out to only aim for 80% or for "just enough"? I don't think so. I think it's a great sanity saver!

Costing other people money

I think I have mentioned that we are extremely lucky to have great health insurance. Peanut and I each have insurance offered through our jobs, and after a lot of research 18 months ago, we went on his insurance. It's a high deductible plan, but after that costs were covered at 100% - and his employer pays the entire premium. It's a major company so almost anywhere we go is considered in-network.

It was hard to swallow the idea of shelling out a few thousand dollars before we got any coverage at all, but wow, did that wind up being a great decision when we had a child in the hospital whose stay cost almost $10,000 per day. If we had gone with my company's health insurance, we would have been on the hook for 20% of that.

This month, we got word that Peanut's employer is having to change their health insurance plan - because of us. We have cost them over $1,000,000 in health care claims since Baby M's birth.

The new situation is as follows:

Employer still pays 100% of the premiums

Deductible is $3,200 for the family before insurance kicks in at all

Co-insurance of 20% for all in-network health care up to a max out of pocket of $6,400

It basically means an additional $3,200 cost to the insured per year. Which, in the grand scheme of things, is totally awesome. (Especially because it won't really affect us until next year at the earliest - due to her birth weight, Baby M gets state medical assistance as a secondary insurance to cover out of pocket costs for her care.)

I feel bad for the other employees who now have to pony up more money for their health care. It's a risk I'm sure Peanut's boss was willing to take because he employs mainly young guys who don't go to the doctor very often. And I'm so glad it's a risk he took, because it allowed us to get the very best care for our daughter and not go bankrupt in the process.

Three Thing Thursday

I'm starting a new feature here, called Three Thing Thursday. It's a place for me to share links and thoughts about things that don't otherwise fit into regular posts. This one happens to be book related. I hope you enjoy!

Thing the First: If you're a fan of Downton Abbey, you need to check out these two books: Lady Almina & The Real Downton Abbey and Below Stairs. They're fantastic!

Thing the Second: If you're reading to learn about a particular topic, such as infant sleep, be sure to read a number of books by different experts. That way you won't feel like you're doing something wrong if it turns out that your baby has not read and agreed to follow one particular philosophy! Most likely he or she will line up with one of the experts, but you won't know unless you read them all.

Thing the Third: I love book clubs but I don't have time for them right now. The greatest online book club replacement I have found is Twitter - you can easily find someone who's just finished the same book you have!

Cheap birthdays!

Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me...

This month is my birthday month. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve noticed a distinct difference in how I feel about birthdays, particularly my own. I don’t like the idea of spending money throwing a party — I’d rather spend the money on myself! Here are some great ways to celebrate your birthday on the cheap...

Read more at Dimespring!

I $ NYC

Another interesting article from The New York Times - this one about how New York is totally affordable compared to other places in the country.

Part of their argument is that most people don't own cars, so the costs of car payment, gas and vehicle maintenance make up for the much higher cost of housing. They also cite massive competition as lowering prices on everything from manicures to cookies.

Right when Peanut and I got married, he quit his job to go freelance and we were living off of my income alone. Right now, I am staying home with the baby and we are living off of his income alone. The dollar amounts of these two salaries are almost identical, so we are in a unique situation to compare everything. So, as a recovering ex-New Yorker, here's my take.

In New York, our rent was $1,444 for a one-bedroom 500 square foot apartment. Here, our mortgage is $1,366 for a three-bedroom, two bath 1,500 square foot house with a lovely backyard. Point: Minneapolis

In New York, metrocards cost us $100 per month each for unlimited bus and subway rides. We didn't take taxis. Here, our vehicles are paid for, and monthly maintenance costs are around $150-200. Point: Close tie, tipping toward Minneapolis because I don't have to carry a stroller up and down subway stairs here.

Crunching the numbers, we spend virtually the same amount of money for groceries and eating out. In New York, grocery shopping was a pain at best because we had to physically carry everything home and no store doubled coupons. Here I have a Target, local chain, and an Aldi all within two miles of my house and can get better deals. Point: Minneapolis. In terms of eating out, New York wins hands-down, for quality, price, and sheer diversity. Point: New York

Certain things in New York were cheaper due to competition - massages are the best example and pretty much the only one that has ever actually popped up in my life. Point: New York

So, it's an awfully close tie. But the tie-breaker point definitely goes to Minneapolis, because even though the costs of living wind up fairly even, the quality of life is so much better as to be priceless. Living in a detached house with private outdoor space? Having the option of public transportation or personal vehicle? Easy access to specialized medical care? Local family support? Having our child grow up in an environment we are more comfortable with? All of these things are beyond measure.

So, yes, New York. You are more affordable than most people realize, and I love to visit. But I am so glad I moved away!

Working Ourselves to Death

A few weeks ago, The New York Times ran an article about entry-level positions that have no limits.

This is one of the reasons I left New York. Publishing is a notoriously low-paying and long-houred position, and my work life was getting crazy. As much as I tried to set a balance, my workday was edging towards 10 and 12 hours. Many coworkers worked from 8 to 8 AND came in at least once over the weekend (the only time I ever came in on the weekend was to set up my new office when I switched jobs).

Why are we so work crazy? Is it because we are money crazy? Prestige crazy?

I really don't have an answer to this. What do you think?

Mid-Month Goal Check

1. Finalize estate planning documents. Errrr.....working on it!

2. Take advantage of Baby M's naps. Success! She has organized herself into three pretty consistent naps, two of which are usually at least an hour long. I try to stay off the computer (um, except for right now) and get other things done and I feel like I am making good progress. I could probably try to nap myself, but I'm getting *almost* enough sleep. I do try to lay down sometimes, but her naps just don't time well with my sleepy times. 

3. Sell some things on Craigslist. I added ebay since I have some things that might go better there. I haven't got anything listed yet, but one of the things I'm doing during nap time is getting them all ready. Taking pictures, writing descriptions, setting prices, that sort of thing. I may not get everything up this month, but I'm definitely making progress. 

How are your April goals going?

Whose salary pays for childcare?

Peanut and I just discussed an issue that The New York Times recently covered - in a two-income household, whose salary pays for childcare?

For many women, it seems like their salary has to cover the cost of childcare in order for them to justify going back to work. I sort of feel like that, even if it's unfair.

I have only started digging into what childcare might cost us - given Baby M's health situation, the only viable option is a full-time dedicated nanny who works out of our home. That makes childcare not only pricey but also hard to calculate. (More on this in a future post, but we'd be required to pay taxes and expected to provide health insurance, mileage, and paid vacation and sick days as well - wow!) I'm doing it with a mental note towards whether the total winds up being more or less than what I bring home.

But why me? Why not Peanut?

He carries our health insurance, but my job offers health insurance too. His salary is higher, so we could afford "more nanny" even if we'd be affording less other stuff. He likes his job - but I like mine too. Someone has to care for our child - it could just as easily be him, right? Prior to her birth, all of our money went into a single pot and covered all of our expenses - so why is this one issue so thorny?

Despite all the advances we've made in feminism, I've still internalized the idea that it's the woman's job to care for the child, whether that means literally by staying home or figuratively by providing the money that pays for his or her care. On one hand, financially, it makes more sense for us to lose one income rather than pay that entire income and then some to someone else to do a job I could do. On the other hand, leaving the workforce might affect my career path for the rest of my life - it will certainly affect my earning potential.

So, which is it to be?

Well, in our situation, money won't exactly be the deciding factor. Even if we find super affordable childcare, Baby M's health will dictate whether I stay home. I am more than a primary caregiver at this point, and until her weight gain is stable and her medical needs are less critical, it's not something I can trust to anyone else. I'm happy, in a way, to have that as a reason, instead of the question of whose salary covers her care.

How did you determine how to pay for childcare? Did you struggle with this issue?

Broken Windows in My Life

A while ago, Gretchen Rubin posted about her "broken windows" of happiness.

The Broken Windows Theory came to my attention about a decade ago, I believe in a book by Malcolm Gladwell. It posits that minor crimes like subway fare dodging, graffiti, or broken windows make way for larger crimes like robbery, rape, and assault because it seems as if no one cares about the neighborhood. Think about it: if someone bothers to fix broken windows, they'll bother to make other things nice and safe, too.

Gretchen's post details the "broken windows" that make her unhappy. When these things aren't handled, she feels overwhelmed. This really resonated with me - I have noticed that sometimes I'll be in a bad mood, just all out of sorts, for no apparent reason, and if I spend half an hour straightening up my living space, I feel 100% better.

Here are some of my broken windows:

* Messy kitchen/dishes piling up

* Piles of laundry strewn about

* Unfolded blankets on the couch

* Water all over the bathroom counter

* A list of phone calls to be made

* A dirty car, inside or out

If I can keep these things under control, the rest of my life seems like it's okay, even if the bigger things aren't getting done.

Do you have any "broken windows" in your life?