Tuesday, May 27, 2008

My dream wedding

Inspired by Meg's post about her sister's simple wedding that still wasn't cheap.

I do not want a wedding.

I don't mean I don't want a big wedding, or a church wedding, or anything like that. I mean, I do not want a wedding at all.

I don't think I'm going to be able to get away with it, however. As much as everyone says The Day is all about the bride and groom (though mostly the bride), I know from experience that's not true. Not only will my own mother and the rest of my family have expectations and preferences, but the guy I end up marrying probably will as well and I'm sure his family will. So compromises will have to be made, but here's some of what I'd like.

1. I will NOT be married in a church. This is pretty much non-negotiable to me. I am not religious, and don't see the point of being married in a church when I don't normally attend one. It's imperative that the person I marry support this. My last boyfriend was Catholic and would have insisted on a Catholic wedding, and I just couldn't stomach that.

2. I don't want flowers to carry or fancy chair covers or any kind of decoration. They seem pointless. I guess I sort of envision an outdoor ceremony, if there has to be a ceremony at all, so that's plenty of beauty right there. I'd prefer really that we just say some words with witnesses (no preacher, probably a friend who's a judge or something), sign some paper, and then go have a party.

3. I don't want attendants with outfits they'll never wear again. I don't really understand the point of attendants at all, and if I have any (which is debatable) I would have only two, my sister and my best friend. I'd really like to have them wear their very favorite clothes, whatever that would be (pajamas, a dress, jeans and a tshirt) so that they're totally comfortable.

4. If I had a dress (again, debatable) just for the wedding, it would be simple, not a wedding dress, probably not white. I wouldn't spend more than $150 on it, and it would be smashing and I could wear it again any time I wanted.

5. I don't want solemn music for any kind of processional or anything like that. I wouldn't have a DJ because my family won't dance and I perform on dance floors all the time so it would feel like work. It might be fun to have dancers, though--belly dancers, latin dancers, ballroom dancers, whatever. I love performers.

6. FOOD. Now, food there would be. Lots of food. Good food. All kinds of food. Plenty of it.

6b. Cake. Any cake is fine. I don't need a $600 cake. Seriously. I don't remember that any cake I've ever tasted at a wedding tasted any better than the homemade brownies I made this week.

7. Alcohol. My family won't drink it, and probably wouldn't come if I served it. Hrmmm...that might be a good idea.....

Hmm. It sounds like I want to get married in a food court!


  1. I feel the same way, more or less. I think if I get married I'll end up eloping. My boyfriend doesn't like weddings and thinks they are so overblown nowadays (or atleast thats what he says), so I think he'd agree. The only thing I find myself thinking though, is if I'd be letting the families down. My family not so much, because I think they'd understand...but my bf's family? I just don't know if they would be very happy.

    Another reason I wouldn't want to get married is the religion thing. My bf is not religious, and neither am I. I think its so hypocritical if I was to get married through the church. I feel so uncomfortable stepping in one, that it would just be ridiculous of me to do it just for my parents. Plus, it wouldn't even be an option since I KNOW my boyfriend wouldn't agree to it.

    I hate dancing, and I hate to have a bunch of people looking at me. Other than food then, what would be the point? (Your food court idea wouldn't be a bad one...it sounds like fun to me!)

    Its kind of strange to me how everyone talks about it being the most special day of your life....sure, I agree with that part, but then why would I want EVERYONE I know sitting there watching me? It seems like such an intimate occasion, that I would want it to just be us two. [shrugs] Maybe I have it backwards?

    (sorry if I got carried away with the long response!)

  2. ql girl, you nailed it. I think the moment should take place between the two people participating, and I hardly think it calls for a big party with a bunch of other people. Sure, parties are nice, but I just don't want one because I'm "supposed" to have one.

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