Monday, June 1, 2009

Moving countdown: T minus 30 days

I gave notice yesterday--sort of. I left a voicemail for my landlord, and will follow it up today with a letter. I'm really hoping that this lights a fire under him and he will start showing me properties that he owns that we can move into. We've spoken about it several times, but then I never hear of anything that fits the bill, and I think it's just because we felt like, oh, we were ok staying in my apartment until something came along. Well, we changed our minds, so hopefully he'll want to keep me as a tenant.

If not, we'll start looking for no-fee or by-owner apartments, followed by apartments with broker fees (which we will negotiate down according to what they can find us). We found a long list of possibilities in a rather quick search yesterday, so Peanut is confident that we'll find something with no problem. We'll start looking this weekend.

This move has me very stressed out. Not about moving in with him, that's the easy part. But the sudden change in thinking that I wouldn't have to worry about moving yet, coupled with my very intensive summer class and lots of stuff going on at work had me freaking out yesterday. Peanut has offered to pack and do whatever needs doing if I don't have time, so that helps.

Also, Number 8 on the moving list--Tell my parents--is no small thing. My family is traditional and very religious, and this is going to be a big problem. I don't know that my dad will really mind, but my mother will likely not speak to me for some time (months, maybe?). (They're divorced, so he won't be any help in getting her to see reason.) It's tough to get the courage to upset someone so much.

I know a lot of pf bloggers are living with SOs--did any of you face this kind of disapproval? How did you handle it?

Luckily, Peanut's family is fine with it so at least one side will still welcome us for holidays.

8 comments:

  1. There is no good way to get people to accept it, unfortunately. Their prejudices cannot be overcome with any amount of reason. Eventually they get used to it, though.

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  2. My parents didn't care at all. I think T's mom was a little concerned about our souls, but we got engaged about 2 weeks later and perhaps that eased her mind?

    My little sister broke in my family by moving in with her bf when she was like 19. So they really couldn't say much. But I don't think they would have anyway.

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  3. Congrats on moving in. I want to give you the heads up that the first 90 days are going to be full of change. No matter who I talk to (including when we moved in together) it is a 3 month adjustment period. Its just hard to figure out - well, I cooked so you clean? Who does the laundry? I don't feel like vacuming but if I don't do it, then you will be mad - that sort of stuff.

    IT is also very very fun to live together. Good luck!!

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  4. I was really worried, but my family turned out to be neutral to possibly even OK with it. We did have a don't ask - don't tell policy though.

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  5. I moved in with my SO (now hubby) after re knowing (I will explain) him for three weeks. We dated in high school and ran in to each other several years later. We have been married for over five years and lived together for three years before our wedding.

    I know my parents had problems with it because they would complain to my sister. They never once said anything to me so I figure if they can't talk to me about it then until they could/can I leave it alone. They like my hubby so that helps too.

    Good luck!

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  6. I haven't done this yet, personally, but my parents had gotten over my staying with my LD BF on weekend visits by the time I was 22. Of course, prior to that time, they still disapproved of my being away at night and they're not even religious.

    One of my best friends has a very Catholic family, yet his family is totally accepting of the fact that he lives with his GF, so I can only hope that maybe your family will surprise you in a good way.

    Good luck!

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  7. I guess I'm in the same sort of situation as Dog - don't ask, don't tell. Never thought of it that way, it's brilliant! I guess one day we'll have to confront the truth, but that can wait...

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  8. My dad was surprisingly nonchalant about D moving in with me. He said, "As long as it makes you happy, I support it." Both of my parents love D, but when we were planning to move into a new apartment together, my mom was very hesitant because we hadn't been dating that long when I first told her we were talking about it. (I think four months.) But then they all hung out together, we went out for meals a lot. They got to know D, and I think now they like him more than me! :-p

    My super religious grandparents still haven't accepted it, even 10 months later. They've basically taken to ignoring him when we're at family functions. There's no easy way to deal with that. Instead, I just let them believe the way they want, and we rarely go to functions that they're hosting.

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