Tuesday, September 8, 2009


I'm having such a scattered morning.
First, my ex emailed me over the weekend--yeah, the one who harrassed and stalked me for a year after breaking up with me, until I had to have my legal eagle father send a cease-and-desist order. I hadn't heard from the ex since February, but he just got in touch with me again and I'm furious and trying not to freak out. What is so hard to understand about LEAVE ME ALONE, I NEVER WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU AGAIN? I don't even know what it is he wants, because I can't and won't give him anything. He's got a girlfriend, what does he want with me?!?!
The whole situation gives me a sick, scared feeling in the pit of my stomach that is hard to describe. My ex hasn't been violent or threatening, just persistent. He just won't go away, no matter how many times I told him to, no matter how many times I got his mom to tell him to, no matter how many legal letters he's sent. I haven't responded to anything personally in a year, and he still isn't giving up. That in itself is really scary. Then there are all the stories and anecdotes about restraining orders setting people like him off, and, well, I just don't want to die young and violently by his hand. Which seems extreme, but seriously. Someone who ends a relationship, then continues to bother the person they dumped for nearly two years isn't stable, so who's to say what he's capable of?
And yes, I've investigated getting a restraining order and the police basically laughed in my face. It's possible I could get one going a different route, but we'd probably sue him for civil damages before doing that. That's what my dad recommends for his clients who aren't being threatened, so it's what he recommends for me.
Second, I discovered that the fancy gym I was mystery shopping double-charged me, so I emailed the mystery shopping company to find out if I should dispute that charge with the gym or if they'd handle it when they reversed the correct charges for my finishing the shop. And I got a notice that I'm supposed to wait for 35 days from the date I joined before I cancel my membership. Except....NOWHERE in any of my paperwork does it say that. The scheduler emailed me a form that looks very similar to what I can access, and has the 35 day clause, but it's not in anything that *I* could access and wasn't in anything that she originally emailed me.
Now, this is about $400 that we're talking about here, plus a $110 shop fee, so I will be DAMNED if I'm held to something I had no knowledge of and no way of knowing. The scheduler has become hard to get in touch with all morning after she sent the form that does include the clause, and I'm dreading having to fight with her and her supervisor to get what I'm owed.
And last, stuff at work is exploding and I'm leaving tomorrow to give a speech, which I haven't written, and I'm overwhelmed and keep dwelling on my ex and the mystery shop instead of getting anything done. I need to shut off my brain--none of these things need truly immediate attention, but I just can't get them out of my head!


  1. I definitely can relate on the ex Ms. Money. I moved into an apartment (the ex moved in too was the bf at the time but, the arrangement was for him to move into his own and me in mine). We broke up and he starts calling at 3 a.m. leaving text saying he's outside. Then moved into my complex a few months later. He even e-mail's me at work from time to time even though I don't acknowledge any of them. His stalking in the complex kind of died down when he saw the fiance showing up. My fiance is very intimidating to outsiders.

    Just keep ignoring him and if he wants to take it there. Sue him into oblivion. He'll get the message.

    Stay strong

  2. Thanks for sharing D.C. I know my ex had looked at an apartment in my old building, but he didn't move in there, and he doesn't know where I live now (as far as I know...).

    It's just infuriating that people do this, and scary to think how far some people take it.

  3. My ex called me on birthdays and holidays for THREE YEARS after we broke up. My parents didn't really think much of it but it was flipping annoying ... so I can only imagine how much worse your situation is. I hope that he GOES AWAY.

  4. We have two of these lovelies in our lives.. the hell it causes almost 5 years later continues to be a nightmare..


Thanks for commenting!