Monday, May 9, 2016

Our Nanny Costs

We've had our nanny for almost three months now and she's wonderful. We found her through Care.com, a website for hiring caregivers of all sorts. We pay her well and provide a lot of standard benefits that more traditional jobs have. It's a huge expense, but childcare is definitely an area where I feel justified not cutting corners.

Care.com was very easy to use to find a nanny - first I poked around at the people who were advertising themselves as nannies to get a sense of what the expected pay rate was and what types of jobs people were looking for. Peanut and I both work full time, so we need more than full time coverage, and we quickly realized that that wasn't something most people wanted to do. We also discovered that a lot of potential nannies wanted to care for kids from their homes or bring their own kids along, which I just wasn't comfortable with. One of the big benefits of having a nanny is not having to get the kids up and out the door every morning, and I didn't like the idea of having someone else's child in my home all the time.

Still, there were lots of great candidates on Care.com, so I signed up for a three month membership, which cost $63.20. A paid membership allows users to message nannies who have posted that they are looking for jobs, and also to post a job for people to apply to. I did both, and I got a TON of applications. Many people got weeded out early on - they were looking to be paid under the table, or were only available part-time, or it otherwise wasn't a good match. We interviewed four women, and made two offers. The first accepted and then had a family emergency which caused her to have to resign before she started, and the second we hired and has been with us since.

She works 50 hours a week (8am-6pm M-F) and gets paid a regular hourly rate for 40 hours + 10 hours of time and a half. She also gets five days paid sick time and 10 paid vacation days. And she gets off any holidays that we are off work, and still gets paid if Grandma comes and picks up the kids for the afternoon or something like that. This is intentional - if I'm going to book her time, then I need to pay to make sure she is available when I need her.

In terms of benefits, we don't pay a health insurance benefit (in large part because she has health insurance already, which is great for us financially - it's expensive!). We provide a car for her to use while she's working (so we don't have to transfer car seats in and out of her car), and we provide a credit card for her to use for gas and expenses for the kids. Paying for cell phone service was another common benefit we saw, but we opted out of that - we don't call or text her that often, and she already has a phone. We also withhold her income taxes and send them to the IRS, and we also pay into unemployment benefits for her. This and social security were two of the big reasons we didn't want to pay someone under the table (in addition to it being illegal) - unemployment and social security are important safety net benefits, and I expect my employers to provide them. Therefore, I will provide them for my employee.

All of the paperwork and calculations are kind of a pain, so we chose to pay for a payroll service that Care.com owns (Peanut corrected me: we use the service provided by Intuit, maker of TurboTax*). It manages withdrawing the money from our account and depositing it into hers every week, generates a pay stub, calculates withholding, spits out all the paperwork for her taxes every quarter, and will provide the tax paperwork for both us and her next year. It costs $22 a month.

Oh, right, and the question you are probably wondering most - what do we pay her? We offered $15 an hour, and she countered with $16 an hour. I was both proud of her for negotiating and kind of devastated at how much more it seemed to increase our expenses. In the end, I realized it was only about $2,000 a year - and I really was proud of her for negotiating! We settled on $15.50 an hour, which is only for those first 40 hours - after that, she gets ten hours at $23.25 per hour. All told, she's grossing about $43,000 a year (more than I made at my last job!). With taxes and the service fees, we're actually paying out just under $47,000.

It's a lot of money.

It's more expensive than the most expensive fancy daycare that we looked at. To us right now,though, the benefits of having a nanny (not having to get the kids out the door in the morning, not having them around lots of other kids and getting sick, them getting to go out to parks and storytime and develop a close bond with a single long-term caregiver) are so worth that cost. It feels right to me to pay someone a living wage to do a job that's really hard. And, astonishingly...even after paying her, I am STILL making more than I was at my last job. So it's not like we're missing the money; we're still coming out ahead.


I love this division of labor - payroll and taxes and all of that is his responsibility and while I have access to all the information through Dropbox and our finances spreadsheet, I know that he's taking care of it so I haven't bothered to memorize all of the details. Participating partner FTW!

Thursday, May 5, 2016

Women at Work: Sexism, money, and career

I just finished this really excellent book, What Works for Women at Work, and I feel like I need to talk about it with someone.

I've had kind of a weird career, maybe, in that for the first time (after about a decade in the workforce), my direct supervisor is a man. Previously I've always reported to a woman, and in most cases, those women also reported to women. Three of the four CEOs at my various jobs have been women. Most of the people in my master's program were women (easily 75%) and even more of the professors were women (easily 90%). Publishing is pretty heavily dominated by women in all divisions, so my experience isn't unusual for the industry but it's in no way representative of business as a whole, even in the United States in 2016. That's sad but it's a fact. What's also startling is that there can be a lot of sexism (conscious or unconscious) that holds women back, and is even perpetrated by women against women - and I was pretty startled to find myself in some of the examples given in this book.

What Works for Women at Work was written by a mother-daughter team and is based on social science research and interviews with women in different places in their careers. They've identified four buckets of sexism and have strategies for coping with each. The four buckets are Prove-It-Again (how women's past accomplishments aren't enough to gain faith in their future accomplishments whereas men are often promoted based on their potential rather than their accomplishments), The Maternal Wall (and rather simply decrying the way society isn't set up to accommodate families, they talk about the unconscious attitudes we have towards women who work and women who have children and how we need to resolve those), The Tightrope (how women get typecast as either a bimbo or a bitch), and The Tug of War (how womens' issues in the workplace are exacerbated by generational conflicts and other ways womens' actions can support or hinder progress for women as a whole). There's also a chapter about the additional bias faced by women of color which was super eye-opening for this white girl.

As an employee, I've not often had cause to think that I might be the target of sexism in the workplace. I've had to deal with a twinge of it since becoming a mother (worrying about what people might think when I went back to work while Pickle was still in the NICU - shouldn't a good mother stay at her side? Never mind that Peanut had gone back to work within a few days after her birth, and no one was judging him for being a bad father for doing so). I've also had to consider whether sexism would prevent me from re-entering the workforce in a way that would keep my career on track (thankfully, that didn't end up happening - but it was definitely harder road to get a job with a three-year gap on my resume). But on the whole I haven't bumped up against outright visible sexism.

And I think that's why this book is so important - because it showed me areas of unconscious sexism that I not only have encountered by have been guilty of perpetrating myself. I have noticed how my perception of a female colleague starts to change upon learning she has children, whereas my perception of a male colleague does not. I don't think that the woman is less competent; in fact, it's almost always the opposite - but why should it change only for women and not for men? I've also made assumptions about whether female colleagues will announce a maternity leave shortly after getting married. I've never done anything besides make those assumptions, like give them bad projects or anything like that, but it was still surprising to realize that as egalitarian as I like to think myself, I've got unconscious bias just like everyone else. The first step to eradicating it is to become aware of it, and What Works for Women at Work is so helpful at bringing that awareness about.