Tuesday, September 6, 2016

Role Reversal

Today is a big day in the Moneybags household. Today, I become the breadwinner, and Peanut becomes a stay at home dad.

Yay!

It's an option we talked about before we had children, and again when our kids were born, even though it seemed unlikely that I'd end up making more than him at any point (I have an advanced degree, but picked a not-lucrative field). But that's the situation we are in, surprisingly, so when our nanny gave notice a few weeks ago, we decided to go for it rather than find another paid caregiver.

It puts us almost exactly in the position we were in a year ago, when Peanut was the only wage-earner. My income is higher but my health benefits are more expensive too, so it comes out to almost exactly the same take-home pay. We'll be able to save some and live well. The kids will benefit from seeing a man as the primary caregiver (it's weird to think that if they remember any parent staying home with them, it will be Peanut and not me). I will benefit by not having to stay home, and by turning over a lot of the housework to Peanut. Peanut will benefit from getting to experience primary caregiving and getting a break from a career/job where he was getting burned out. We'll both benefit from walking in the other's shoes for a little while. Our nanny benefits by getting to do something she's always wanted to do (she didn't leave us for another family but for a unique job opportunity overseas). Everybody wins!

Probably the most challenging thing about it will be for me to let go. Peanut is a #1 fine dad, and he doesn't need my "help" or advice. I don't want to be one of those moms who leave a list when the dad "babysits". We've been talking about which chores we'll each do (when Peanut worked and I stayed home, I did everything but yard work, but the reverse doesn't make sense) but other than that, I am mainly looking forward to never having to make dinner again! (And so is everyone else.)